Saved by the Sonnet

Syndicated slice of life still rings true
Alarm gives out a warning, let’s hit snooze.
Voorhies and Diamond, my favorite two
Even though Thiessen sought by most dudes.
Did Lopez and Gosselaar ever fight?
Because Haskins kept peace before Bell Ding.
Yet Berkley as Spano tried to do right
Then Showed Girls and guys her swell skin.
How many times did you watch the same one?
Even after we all graduated
Bliss full memories long after it’s done
Encased in brains far past New Class faded.
Loved them as kids and characters they played
Let’s hope last day Zack froze time and they stayed.


In Trivial Pursuit, Violence Is Not The Answer

Beating his girlfriend is driving her crazy.
In a game of Hangman he chose to use,
“the quick Brown fox jumps over the lazy
dog, so no matter what she couldn’t lose.
Later in Tic-Tac-Toe Chris kissed her thrice
until she had enough X’s to win.
Spent twilight playing Chess thru the night
as they discussed prospects of moving in.
She suggested they get engaged – He’s screwed.
Getting married? Checkmate swore he wouldn’t
so he said, “I do – like playing with you,
but right here, right now I kinda couldn’t.”
They skipped Twister for the Operation.
Nobody wins when you bash her face in.


Try and Touch Your Red Nose

40 are dead in clown car accident. 
Bozo behind the wheel was hopped up on 
two bottles of Yuengling Brother’s Beer meant 
for sedating Siegfried’s lion, Stefan.
Case of Barnum and Bailey’s Irish Cream
was also found on the scene in the trunk
behind elephant’s drunk bearded queen,
and the inebriated tight-rope lunk.
Ladies and gentleman, alcoholics 
of all ages, don’t give your keys to dude
with floppy shoes who drinks all show for kicks.
Designate a key-ringmaster who’s clued
into the circus maxim we all know:
Clowns, “Drink Responsibly,” after the show.

Poems © Scottt Raven 2013


About the Author:

Scottt Raven is an actor, a short fiction writer and the co-founder of the Mayhem Poets (not to be confused with the Mayhem Puppets) a traveling trio of wordsmiths performing from prisons to playgrounds for elementary, middle, high schools and colleges around the world. He lives in NYC with his almost-wife and fictional dog Spott, enjoys running in Central Park, punning everywhere and carrot juice.  His collection of more than 50 Shakespearean Sonnets or Sconnettts as he calls them is now available to purchase via his website at